


He Who Doesn't Fraternize

by annamwrites



Category: Mass Effect - All Media Types, Mass Effect Trilogy
Genre: Alcohol, Asexual Character, Asexuality, F/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-01-10
Updated: 2020-01-10
Packaged: 2021-02-27 10:48:59
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,347
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/22175848
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/annamwrites/pseuds/annamwrites
Summary: When a night of unrestrained drinking and partying with the Normandy crew leads him to Commander Shepard's bedroom, James Vega has to confess what's been keeping him away--and it's not just fraternization regs.
Relationships: Female Shepard/James Vega
Comments: 10
Kudos: 26





	He Who Doesn't Fraternize

**Author's Note:**

> I don't know if this has been done before, but I've been toying with the idea that James Vega is asexual.
> 
> This oneshot is a retelling of his "romance" in the Citadel DLC. More fluff, less exploitation.

The party was still going strong despite the late of the hour. The patchwork crew of the Normandy, old and new, was scattered throughout the apartment; some were dancing to Glyph's playlist, some were at the back playing poker and some were in the living room talking about anything and everything. 

James too was sitting in the living room, but he was observing his company in silence instead of participating in the conversations. Every once in a while he chuckled at a funny remark or joke, but the laughter left a bittersweet aftertaste in his mouth. He was painfully aware that this could be the last shore leave they ever had; the last party they ever attended. His newfound friends as well as James himself may very well never see the light of day again. 

That was the one thought constantly buzzing in his head throughout the entire night. And like a morbid drinking game, every time the grim reminder crossed his mind James poured himself another shot. 

There was however one other thing that was deeply torturing him. It was the terrifying thought of departing from this life without having had the chance to tell his Commander how he really felt about her. 

Shepard had shown an interest towards him time and time again. Yet whenever she got too close, James had pushed her away under the guise of _'I'm just playing'_ and _'I don't fraternize'._

It was a lie, of course. Well, the first part at least. James was painfully aware of the professional dynamic of their relationship forbidding them from becoming involved while they served together; his heart on the other hand was a firm believer that fraternization regs are invalid when the entire galaxy is facing its eradication.

No, there was another reason James didn't let Shepard get too close. 

Eventually Shepard had put a stop to the flirtations. From James' perspective it was clear that she didn't want to make him uncomfortable and/or put a dent in their professional relationship. After all, there was a chance--however slim--that they survived, and James expected that she wouldn't want her career to be endangered over a fling. He understood; his career meant everything to him as well.

There was only a small difference. James would never see Shepard as a fling. It took him a long time of sticking his head in the sand, but his feelings were too strong at this point to sweep under the rug.

James was in love with Shepard. The kind of love that makes you crave the other person's voice. The kind of love that makes your heart hurt when the possibility of never seeing them again comes up.

The kind of love that had James downing liquor just so he could muster the courage to finally confess his feelings to Shepard.

When he caught her alone for the first time during the party, fixing herself a cocktail behind the bar, James knew it was now or never. He walked up to her as confidently as he could and cleared his throat to make his presence known.

"Hey, James," Shepard said, pouring her cocktail in a fancy glass before tossing a straw and a little paper umbrella in. James couldn't help but smile. "You want me to make you one too? It's got coconut rum." She pursed her lips and took a sip that was followed by a satisfied sigh.

"No thanks, I'm actually done for tonight." He'd only needed some liquid courage to pull through with his plan, not to get completely hammered.

"Huh. Not much of a party animal?"

"Sometimes. It's just that… I've been wanting to talk to you," he started, nervously shifting his weight from one foot to the other. _Come on, Vega_ , he goaded himself.

"What about?" Shepard raised a curious eyebrow.

"Us." It burst out of his mouth before he could stop it. Shepard's eyes widened in surprise. 

"We shouldn't do this here," she said, putting down her drink. _Gracias Dios._ "Come on."

James followed her to her bedroom upstairs. Shepard had him sit on the edge of the bed; she did the same.

"Alright. Let's start from the beginning. I thought you weren't interested in…" Shepard gestured vaguely between the two of them.

James' chest felt tight. "I am," he mumbled. All of a sudden he was hyperaware of the closeness of their bodies; the fight-or-flight instinct started to kick in. _What are you doing, pendejo?_

Shepard placed a hand on his thigh. Thinking she was about to initiate… a more intimate kind of physical contact, James tensed up, panicking internally.

However the sexual touch he expected never came and Shepard just looked deep into his eyes with that beautiful but intimidatingly soul-piercing stare of hers instead. 

"What's on your mind, James?" She asked in the most genuine-sounding tone. _Mierda!_ How do you say something like this to the woman you've fallen for? How do you explain it? This was why James never 'fraternized'. 

"Listen Lola, I… like you. I really do. You're an incredible woman, and I'm not just talkin' about your looks. The thing is…" He rubbed the back of his neck anxiously, spinning the words inside his mouth, trying to find the right way to express his feelings without embarrassing himself or, God forbid, offending her. Eventually, he gave up and just spat it out. "I'm actually asexual."

Shepard removed her hand from James' thigh. His throat dried up. That was it. He ruined it.

"I'm sorry for leading you on, Shepard. I suppose a part of me hoped…" James decided to swallow his words and have the decency to step away. He made to get up, but a hand clasped against his chest and forced him back down again.

"James, what are you apologizing for?" Shepard's tone was stern but there was an underlying tenderness that had James frankly a bit confused. "If anyone should apologize, it's me. I never meant to make you uncomfortable."

"It's okay, Shepard. You couldn't have known." James' muscles relaxed. "It's stupid, I know you're my CO, but… I've fallen for you. And since there's a high chance we won't be here for much longer, I wanted you to know. It's okay if you aren't interested, no hard feelings, I promise."

Shepard started laughing. Not just an awkward chuckle in an attempt to defuse the tension--it was a full-on cackle as if she'd just heard the funniest joke ever told.

Seeing James' bewildered expression caused her to sober up pretty quickly.

"You really _are_ that oblivious, aren't you?" 

James stared at her like she was speaking in a foreign language and his translator was broken.

"I _am_ interested, James. I am more than interested, I'm... in love with you. I would think I've made myself clear about that. It's not about just getting you into my bed. It never has to happen if you don't want it." She was entirely serious now, there wasn't a hint of amusement in her voice. Her tone was actually cautious as if she was almost shy to admit her feelings. "It's you I want. I've known you were special since I was in house arrest."

James' jaw must've been hanging open because she reached out and gently pushed his chin upwards.

"Wait… you're serious? You're into me? You don't mind that I don't… experience sexual attraction?" His cheeks were on fire and he could only hope he wasn't blushing enough for Shepard to notice.

"James. What do I have to do for you to comprehend it?"

He tilted his head. "Um. You could kiss me, I g--"

Shepard cupped his cheeks with strong, calloused hands and pulled him in for a slow, passionate kiss. James' heart fluttered inside his chest like he was fifteen again and just had his first kiss. After all this time, after all the pining and worrying--

"I hope that convinced you," Shepard whispered, breaking the kiss but not letting go of his face, her lips just a breath away from his.

James nodded, smiling blissfully.

"I'm convinced, Lola."


End file.
